


Should Old Acquaintance

by Tallulah_Rasa



Series: Crossing Streams [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, NCIS, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Man From U.N.C.L.E.
Genre: Crossover, Friendship, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2014-07-16
Packaged: 2018-02-09 03:16:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1966920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tallulah_Rasa/pseuds/Tallulah_Rasa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It stands to reason that all of Natasha's old friends are Russian spies.  Or were, once.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Should Old Acquaintance

**Author's Note:**

> Another in a series of unrelated crossover ficlets. This one's slightly more serious than the others, though that's not saying much.

“No,” Tony said, before Natasha could even finish.

“He could help,” she repeated. “Bruce is sick, and he’s not getting better. You know this. You also know that he has unique medical needs. Illya -- I believe Illya could help him.”

“Right. Because you know so many helpful people,” Tony said, somehow implying air quotes without using them. “And _exactly_ how do you know him?”

“He’s…a contact,” Natasha said.

“From…?”

“From,” Natasha conceded.

“And so we have no reason to think he’d, say, sell us out – sell _Bruce_ out – in the name of the greater good, or the Motherland, or political ideology, or whatever the hell—”

“Once, maybe,” Natasha broke in. “But not now.”

“Not now,” Tony repeated, dripping sarcasm.

Natasha looked at him steadily. “I have more reason than most to know that people can – and do – change.”

Tony met her eyes for a long moment. “Yeah?” he finally asked.

“Yes, _durak_ ,” she said.

Tony exhaled, a shaky sigh that Natasha pretended not to hear. “Okay,” he said. “Let’s go see your contact.”

“We’ll need to fly,” Natasha said.

“Well, duh,” Tony said. “It’ll take a little doing; arranging to land a private plane in Russia is no picnic, but we can—”

“No,” Natasha interrupted with a hint of a smile. “We’ll need to fly, because driving to D.C. is a pain.”

Tony’s eyebrows shot up. “D.C.? Your contact works at the Russian embassy?”

“No, he works for the government.”

“He’s in D.C. and he works for the Russian government? Natasha, there are some things even _I_ don’t—“

“The U.S. government,” Natasha said. “And don’t make that face; he’s not a double agent. He’s been a U.S. citizen, and working for your military, for years – before the end of the Cold War, even.”

“Really? How did that happen?”

“It helped that he was in international law enforcement for a while. And that officially, he’s from Scotland.”

“But he’s really a doctor, right?”

Natasha nodded. “Currently, he’s a medical examiner.”

“So…he’s used to working on dead people.”

“He is…experienced in many areas.”

Tony chewed his lip.

“Stark, I wouldn’t compromise Bruce. I wouldn’t do anything to—”

“Okay,” Tony said.

Natasha stared at him. “Okay?”

“I have more reason than most,” Tony said softly, “to know that people can – and do – change.”

Natasha swallowed, though not so anyone could see. “So – you trust me?”

“ _Durak_ ,” Tony said with a smile that went nowhere near his eyes, “I don’t even trust _me_. But I know when I need help. And I won’t sacrifice Bruce’s well-being to my own paranoia, no matter how well-earned.” He handed her a phone; she knew without asking it was untraceable. “Make the call.”

Natasha took the phone with a nod, dialed, and ignored Tony’s restless jiggling while she waited for someone to pick up. “Dr. Mallard, please,” she said when someone finally did.

“I’ll be bringing the suit,” Tony said quietly. “And just to be clear – I like Bruce better than I like you.”

“Understood,” Natasha said. “For the record, I do, too.”

Tony nodded, and Natasha could see some of the tension leave his shoulders.

“Ducky? It’s…yes…Yes, it has been a long time…No, I didn’t know that the concept of time was first…Yes, well…Ducky, I’m sorry to interrupt, but I have a friend who could benefit from your special medical knowledge, and…Yes, actually. How did you…Well, yes. Yes, he does turn...yes, like Kermit.”

“Kermit?!” Tony mouthed.

Natasha waved him off. “Yes,” she said into the phone. “Tonight? Yes, that would be…Yes, we’ll meet you there. I’ll be bringing his bodyguard, by the way, and…Well, no, he doesn’t need one, but…Yes, yes, _he’s_ the bodyguard…Yes, friendship is a potent…Well, no, I don’t know much about the history of friendship, but perhaps we could talk about that later? I have… Yes, it’s true that he has a…Well yes, but the light is more of a blue. And he’s not much for show and tell, but perhaps he'd be willing to…” She looked Tony up and down. “Perhaps. Though I’m not sure ‘fascinating’ is the word I’d use to describe him,” she said into the phone. “Yes, Ducky. Thank you. Tonight, then.”

Tony just looked at her, probably unaware that he had one hand splayed protectively over his chest. “Guess we should get ready,” he said. “You fire up the jet; I’ll get Bruce.”

“You’ll like Illya,” Natasha said steadily. “You have a lot in common.”

“Name one thing,” Tony said as they headed for the elevator.

“He loves blowing things up,” Natasha said with only the tiniest of smiles.

“Who doesn’t?” Tony asked.

**Author's Note:**

>  _Durak_ , to the best of my (and Google's) knowledge, means "blockhead" or "fool."


End file.
